Your Magenta Monday Magic.
Before we finish up our month on cultivating relationships, I want to address something I often hear from women in midlife:
‘I’m lonely.’ 😔
This breaks my heart. But the sad reality is our midlife transition often involves kids leaving the family home, marriages ending in divorce, retirement from our careers, and changes in our relationships with friends.
These changes can lead to a lot of time alone… and while some people are totally fine with free time by themselves, others – especially those who are used to being ‘busy’ all the time – might find it really challenging when it comes to connection making.
This is when you’ll need to face one of the most difficult parts of this transition: finding your people.
How do you do that?
Well, I’m glad you asked! I have a story I’d like to share.
Not too long ago I was asked to join a mahjong group. While I loved the people who invited me, games had never really been my thing. I’m not very good at them, and I’m just not that competitive. Not only that but there were a few women I didn’t know – which brought up some old fears about not fitting in with large groups of women.
Luckily, I realized that these were old stories, and rather than subscribing to them – and in the interest of living a bigger life – I chose to do the opposite.
I said yes. 👌
Was I nervous? Absolutely.
Did that inner critic nag at me the entire time? You bet she did.
Was I tempted to quit? Only about a million times!
At the beginning, my self-fulfilling prophecy came true. I was terrible. In fact, each week when a new person had their first mahjong and everyone cheered while they had their picture taken for Instagram, little Bridget nudged me and said ‘see?’
Then I became the only one in the group who had never won. And that’s when something shifted. I realized that I had stuck it out longer than I normally would have – especially given that I hadn’t won – which led me to think, ‘Well, I can’t stop now!’
I decided I would see how long my ‘not winning’ streak could last. We played monthly and I think it took about 3 or 4 months before I got my first mahjong! 🥳
My streak was broken! … as was that story I had written so long ago.
I chose to do the opposite of what ‘old Bridget’ would have done and now I have a new story – one where I have a new group of friends I see once a month, where I’m using my brain (most of the time), and I’m actually having fun!
Monday Mindshift
It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.
I’m not saying this is easy, but remember, if you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’re gonna keep on gettin’ what you got.
Here are a few ideas to get you started with connection making:
Sign up for a class that interests you
Reconnect with old friends
Volunteer for a cause you care about
Attend a workshop or a retreat
Leverage existing networks like church or work to connect with new people
Consider signing up for a women's only travel group*
No matter how you get out there, remember to intentionally choose how you want to show up in this next chapter of life. The beauty of making these new connections is that no one knows who you used to be!
You can show up authentically to build new, deeper connections in relationships that aren’t hindered by dynamics that were forged long ago.
This is an opportunity to push your edges and challenge yourself to do things a little differently.
Think about what you would normally do, and do the opposite!
Before you head out, remember the key is to belong, not just fit in. Give yourself a pep talk and remember this little checklist for successful connection making:
👉 Be present
👉 Be curious
👉 Ask questions
👉 Be vulnerable
👉 Be authentic
Hint: for those of you looking to build any kind of relationship, whether platonic or not, these tips can help you in any new situation.
*This is a large and growing industry. Google ‘women’s only tours’ for a list. Also, try NextTribe which has a built-in community and travel options.
Living BRIGHTer is...
B - Be Brave
R - Cultivate Relationships
I - Live with Intention
G - Practice Gratitude
H - Prioritize Health
T - Live your Truth
What is Magenta?
The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Click on my calendar link to sign up for a FREE 45-minute Pathway to Purpose Breakthrough Session now.
Follow me on Substack
Did you know? I'm now on Substack. Want to go even deeper on some of these hot topics? Follow me here
Comments