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Writer's pictureBridget Belden

Staying strong through tough transitions with our kids



Your Magenta Monday Magic.


This week we’re talking about our relationship with our kids.


Let’s face it: if you’re a mom of any age or any stage, this is a rapidly evolving relationship.


We spend years walking the tightrope of knowing that the Grand prize for raising our kids well is sending them off into the world.


“Raising your child well is hard. But learning to let them go out into the world and prove that you did your job right is even tougher.” – J. Craine



Quite honestly letting go has been one of the most challenging things for me - particularly with my son.


He’s not the most communicative, so when I don’t hear from him, I naturally fill in the blanks with any number of horrific scenarios that I rotate through my head…


He’s depressed. He’s struggling with school. He doesn’t know how to ‘adult’ and he’s feeling incompetent. I believe some catastrophe has struck and I’m a terrible mom for not giving him the tools to succeed. And all of this is usually exacerbated by the fact that it’s 3:00 in the morning.



Sound familiar?


Then when I finally do talk with him, he’s just fine and I realize that none of the scenarios I’ve imagined are true.


He’s just not thinking about me.


And that’s a good thing.


When I’m feeling strong, I know it’s just the way he is and it really has nothing to do with his feelings for me.


And I know my job is to let him stretch and grow and find his way on his own.


As a reminder, I created an affirmation that I have posted on my computer:


‘I love you enough to set you free to spread your wings.

I love you. I trust you. I am not afraid’


If any of this resonates, you are not alone.


I’ve seen it with so many of my clients and friends. It’s the constant tug of war between experiencing the joy of seeing your kids thrive and the painful depths of feeling they no longer need you.



And all of that is perfectly normal, my friend.


So, here is a little tool that’s really supported me in letting my kids grow and go. I hope it offers you a bit of support too.


 

Monday Mindshift


  1. Consider when you feel at your most vulnerable with your kids.

  2. Write a strength mantra or phrase to remind you of the nature of your role in raising them to be independent human beings and this is part of the process. You can also find a quote online that resonates with you. “There are two gifts we should give our children. One is roots, the other is wings.” - Author Unknown

  3. Post it somewhere you can refer to it when you are feeling particularly vulnerable.



I know how hard it can be to trust that you’ve given your kids the skills they need to thrive away from home.


I hope this helps…


Love Xoxo,



 

Living BRIGHTer is...


B - Be Brave

R - Cultivate Relationships

I - Live with Intention

G - Practice Gratitude

H - Prioritize Health

T - Live your Truth


What is Magenta?


The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.


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