Your Magenta Monday Magic.
When you are in a relationship with someone – whether it’s your mom, your son, or your best friend – you show up differently for each person, and engaging in conflict and resolution activities can help navigate these dynamics more effectively.
With your mom you may play the rebel, objecting to everything she says (even the things that make sense!) because she’s always been hyper-critical and judgy.
With your son you may play the warrior, fighting his battles even though he’s old enough to do it himself.
With your best friend? Maybe you're the follower, staying in her shadows as she leads the way forward.
The longer you’ve been in a relationship, the more entrenched its dynamic becomes. And the worst part? You often aren’t even consciously aware of the role you’re playing.
Sometimes those roles have followed you into adulthood, even though they may no longer align with how you want to show up.
And let me just tell you this – even though you might be crystal clear about how you want to show up, and you do a pretty good job of it most of the time, there will be moments when you slip right back into the old behaviors you’ve been determined to leave behind. 🤦♀️
How do I know? Because I’ve been there!
Our 26-year-old son moved in with us for about 18 months so he could work and save some money. I hadn’t spent much time with him since he left for college in Seattle. He had only visited for a week or two here or there, and a lot had transpired in those 6 years.
He’d gone from being a high school student to a young man, and we went from being parents of a kid to being parents of an adult.
Needless to say, I was nervous about what our relationship would be like.
We all had to change how we showed up.
At first, it was a little rocky, but over time we established new roles and formed new identities.
About 4 months ago, he moved out, and then just a few days ago, I reached out to him to follow up on an important matter. It was interesting what happened when he didn’t get back to me.
Just like that it seemed that he’d slipped back into his role as the ‘unreliable kid, and I slipped back into the enraged, ‘frustrated overbearing mom.’
Ugh. The worst part? I felt it happening! As my blue text string grew longer and longer, with no reply, I felt the frustration building.
And then I did it. I sent off a text that embodied everything about our old dynamic and looked nothing like how I wanted to show up in our relationship. 🤯
It felt SO out of alignment with what our evolved relationship should be about, and I knew I had to clean it up.
So I did.
I explained that we had come so far in evolving our relationship, and in that moment when he didn’t respond, I snapped. I apologized for not showing up how I wanted to.
I didn’t expect him to admit his role in it. Even if I could control his response, that wasn't the objective of the conversation. By owning my part in it, though, I led by example.
And that is much more aligned with who I’d like to be going forward.
The bottom line is, as with so many things in life, you are the common denominator in all of your relationships. As with so many things in life, how you show up will have a huge impact on whether or not you are praising them or cursing them.
But the beautiful thing about living a conscious life is that you get to choose.
Conflict and resolution activities can also play a significant role in transforming these dynamics.
Engaging in activities that promote healthy conflict resolution can strengthen relationships and create a deeper understanding between individuals.
Monday Mindshift
It’s the 1° shift that makes the biggest difference over time.
Take a minute to think about 3-5 of the most important relationships in your life.
What role do you play in each of them? What roles do the other people play? Do the dynamics align with who you are today and how you want to show up going forward?
If the answer is yes, then you’re good.
If the answer is no, then take some time to figure out how you would like to show up in the relationship. How can you make adjustments to shift that dynamic?
If you take a look at your role, and it’s clear that you’ve screwed up – clean it up! That’s the best way to begin reestablishing yourself in the new role.
You’ve got this!
And remember, incorporating conflict and resolution activities into your routine can help you navigate these changes more effectively. By fostering open communication and understanding, you can create a healthier, more supportive environment in all your relationships.
Living BRIGHTer is...
B - Be Brave
R - Cultivate Relationships
I - Live with Intention
G - Practice Gratitude
H - Prioritize Health
T - Live your Truth
What is Magenta?
The color magenta is one of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta helps to create harmony and balance in every aspect of life; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
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